Talk to me first.
Now, that may seem obvious to most of you, but it apparently isn’t for everyone. And most people, in fact, do this. Like at said con, a guy came up to my table, saw that my banner said I was a podcaster, and talked to me about the fiction podcast he was working on. It was a great conversation, and while I haven’t checked out his show yet, I fully intend to give it a listen some time this week. He started out that interaction gauging my interest though, and letting me know who he was as a person. It was fun, it was nice, and he left me his card. All in all, a positive interaction.
But that’s not what all of these instances are like.
A while later, a different guy comes up to my table. I greet him, but am effectively ignored. Now, that happens, and while it’s a bit rude not to respond at all, nerds can be awkward so I’m used to it. After a few moments of looking at my stuff, he starts picking up my cards and putting them back down one by one. I have several different business cards (one for each comic, one for Nerd & Tie, and one that’s a general “me” card), so I’m not sure why he’s doing this. When he gets to a Peregrine Lake card though, he turns it over and says his first words to me in the two minutes or so he’s been at my table: he asks for a pen.
I hand it over, assuming he wants to note something about my stuff on a card, which has happened before. I mean, the card he’s picked is one for a website where there isn’t anything for sale on the table right now, so I just assumed it was the one thing up his alley. I’m under the impression that he’s going to jot something down and walk away with the card.
That is, in fact, not what happened.
Instead he writes out quite a bit more than I’m expecting him to, and Crysta and I are just sitting there in silence. Then, when he’s done, he hands me my own card. What he’s written down is a URL and some social media accounts, and he tells me he’s starting a creator collective of independent writers. He mentions having talked to some of the other authors at the con (there were a couple). I politely took the information, and told him I would check it out, and he walked away.
But here’s the thing, if he’d bothered to speak a word to me when he arrived, he might have asked me what my thoughts on a creator collective are. That’s when he’d learn I’m already a part of one. Like one of the cards he picked up and ignored was literally for it.
And we could talk about how he should probably have brought some sort of card or flier if his goal was to network, or how it’s difficult to convince me that you’d be a good advocate for my work when our interaction is this awkward, but that’s not the point. If he had started with a conversation, he would have learned my background in that space. And while I have no interest in changing affiliations, we could have talked about working together or I could have given advice on how to grow and promote.
It just would have required a god damn conversation.
I just want to feel like you see me as a human being, really. Take some time to find out my interest, figure out my vibe, and importantly let me figure out yours. It will be a better experience for both of us, trust me.
Also, remember, you can pre-order Buried Memories, the fourth book in my contemporary fantasy series the Mia Graves Saga, out December 15th 2025.
Right now I’m sitting in my favorite chair in my living room, safely home after having spent Thanksgiving with most of my family in Milwaukee. Normally I’d still be there, and wouldn’t have come home until tomorrow night — but the forecast has a massive winter storm coming through tonight through tomorrow afternoon.
